Recently, I had a major change in my life. It was as if I woke up and suddenly I had become a, gulp, "malm." When did this happen? But more importantly, how?
Don't get me wrong. I know that malm is a term of respect and endearment. I could be called much worse and I have. Just not to my face....... On most Days.
The question is, what is it about the "malm" word that gives me the hebbeee geebees. On the surface malm is not a bad word, not really. But seriously I hate it.
After giving it some thought, this is what I figured out.
Why The Word Malm Is A Soul Crushing Blow To Some Women
A "malm" is officially recognized as grown. A grown woman is supposed to act grown...do grown things. All the time.
"Malm" is telling me you think I am old or older than you....
"Malm" suggest you are no longer "cool", fly or current
"Malm" let me know that I becoming more invisible. Every day.
"Malm" is saying I should reek of benjay and have my teeth soaking in a glass next to my bed
"Malm" says that my boobs are in a sprint to reach my toes or have been there for a while
So in a nutshell, "malm" is the end of youth and all the glory that goes with it.
And so, do you see why I hate this word? Sigh. As Shakespeare wrote, "rage against the dying of the light". He probably wrote that the day he became a "sir", so Shakespeare I feel you. Thank you. I am not going down without a fight. I will NOT stop until I am un-marmed. I promise.